Dance etiquette for men
Women who wish to dance are looking for a good
overall dancer, a good lead, someone who is considerate and
careful for their safety, as well as being well-groomed and appealing.
These ten tips detail how a man can best appeal to a woman dancer in these areas:
overall dancer, a good lead, someone who is considerate and
careful for their safety, as well as being well-groomed and appealing.
These ten tips detail how a man can best appeal to a woman dancer in these areas:
#1.
Learn to dance. Most women dancers prefer to dance
with someone who is a good dancer. You
don't need to have years of experience or know a million
moves. But know the dance (whether salsa or ballroom) well enough to lead
your partner with confidence and clarity. Most important is to have gotten
the dance posture and leading techniques down, through lessons and coaching
to the point where a woman will "read" that you are confident and relaxed.
I've danced with people who have been dancing for years and still have
terrible dance position, weak leads or otherwise are tentative or insecure.
I've also danced with relatively new dancers who are solid and strong in
leading a dance. I prefer a novice who leads well, to someone with a lot of
moves who has terrible technique. Invest in an hour or two of private
coaching and ask for feedback on your lead and
posture. Then work to develop your skills.
#2.
Be a courteous dance partner. Invite a woman to dance by extending your
hand and asking if she would like to dance. Escort her to the floor and
throughout the dance focus on not only leading the dance, but connecting with
your partner. Dancing is not about a lot of fancy moves. It is about
connecting and moving to the music with your
partner. A good dancer who
never looks at or "clues in to" the woman
he is dancing with is not one whom
a woman will be excited to dance
with. Even if your partner is not the best
dancer, always be courteous. After the dance ends, escort your partner back
to where she was when you invited her, or to the edge of the dance floor.
Never just walk away or leave your partner in the middle of the dance floor.
Say "thank you" after a dance, even if it was less than enjoyable.
#3
Protect your partner. A leader's job is to lead the dance and
part of leading is preventing collisions or other situations which could
injure his partner or himself. Many salsa dancers ignore this role and
spin or lead their partners into others, step on other dancers, or otherwise
put themselves or others in a position of getting hurt. A leader
should stop dancing or do what it takes to make sure that the woman he is
dancing with does not get injured on the floor. No woman wants to
dance with a man who ignores safety and creates situations which cause her
injury or make her fear she will get hurt.
#4
Seek to regularly improve your dancing. Once you have mastered the
basics of leading and a few moves, work to increase your repertoire. It gets
boring to dance with someone whose moves are predictable and never change.
This applies to seasoned as well as beginning leaders. Some strong dancers
stop taking classes and once a woman has danced with them a few times, their
entire repertoire is known. By periodically learning a few new moves
or steps a leader will keep experienced dancers intrigued and
interested. I relish dancing with men who are never boring, because
they always have something fresh they're trying on the floor.
#5
Groom yourself. A man should be clean, neat and appropriately
dressed for a woman to want to dance with him. Body odor can be a real
problem for some men. Make sure to use deodorant and to have clean
hair, hands, fingernails and the like. Brush your teeth and use breath
freshener. Alcoholic or smokers' breath is a turn-off for women who
like to dance. Hair should be neatly combed and a man should shave or trim
his facial hair before dancing. After shave/cologne can be overpowering
in a club, so avoid it for dancing. A lot of greasy hair products can
also be off-putting. Clothes should be clean, fit well and be neatly
pressed. Shoes should be polished.
Natural fibers absorb moisture better than synthetics and feel better to the
touch. If you sweat a lot, take extra shirts and change into them as
needed. It's not fun to dance with someone who is soaking wet with sweat.
Flashy jewelry, tank tops, sneakers, t-shirts are not usually appropriate
dance apparel.
#6
Learn to talk and dance at the same time. What a concept! Dancing is a
social activity. If you are doing a dance that is slow enough to allow for
some conversation, by all means talk to your partner. A running conversation
may not be advisable while trying to dance with someone new, but introducing
yourself and exchanging a few words--a compliment about dance ability, a
question about where one likes to dance, etc., indicate that you have a
personality. And if you see this person at a future time, it is that much
easier to ask them to dance again. Women like good dancers but they like men
with some personality too. The "silent dancer" who never speaks a word an be
off-putting for many of us.
#7
Smile. Dancing should be enjoyable. Too many
dancers never smile or indicate they are enjoying themselves. A
partner can feel positive (and negative) energy from you! A bit of
smiling indicates you are having a good time. On the other hand, a fixed smile or staring at someone with a goofy
grin on your face can be a total turnoff. Smile when the feeling moves you,
when you catch your partner's eye, as it feels natural.
#8
Dance with different types of dancers. Some men are extremely selective
about whom they dance with. Others take pains to dance with many different
women, of all sizes, shapes, ages and abilities. When I see a good,
attractive dancer asking an older woman, or a less advanced dancer to dance I
think more highly of him than of one who will only dance with the hottest,
sexiest woman on the floor and who looks right through other women.
#9
Don't try to dance to a dance you don't know. A lot of club dancers
know no cha cha or rumba or ballroom dances. Some of them try
to fudge it by asking a woman to dance to a cha cha and then doing their own
thing!. Women want to dance with someone who knows the dance and can
lead it . It's very frustrating to dance with a man who has
no clue how to dance. Either get some lessons in social dancing or
sit out the dance, but don't put a woman through the frustration of dancing
with you when you don't know what to do.
#10
Do the asking. Some male dancers seem to be lazy or stuck up. They wait
for women to ask them to dance instead of asking the women. While there's
nothing wrong with taking a break while dancing and having a woman ask you to
dance occasionally, the general etiquette calls for men to ask women to
dance. Don't make it more complicated by playing "hard to get" and making
women guess if you want to dance or not. Either ask women to dance if you
wish to dance, or stay off and away from the dance floor so women can tell
you aren't interested in dancing.
Learn to dance. Most women dancers prefer to dance
with someone who is a good dancer. You
don't need to have years of experience or know a million
moves. But know the dance (whether salsa or ballroom) well enough to lead
your partner with confidence and clarity. Most important is to have gotten
the dance posture and leading techniques down, through lessons and coaching
to the point where a woman will "read" that you are confident and relaxed.
I've danced with people who have been dancing for years and still have
terrible dance position, weak leads or otherwise are tentative or insecure.
I've also danced with relatively new dancers who are solid and strong in
leading a dance. I prefer a novice who leads well, to someone with a lot of
moves who has terrible technique. Invest in an hour or two of private
coaching and ask for feedback on your lead and
posture. Then work to develop your skills.
#2.
Be a courteous dance partner. Invite a woman to dance by extending your
hand and asking if she would like to dance. Escort her to the floor and
throughout the dance focus on not only leading the dance, but connecting with
your partner. Dancing is not about a lot of fancy moves. It is about
connecting and moving to the music with your
partner. A good dancer who
never looks at or "clues in to" the woman
he is dancing with is not one whom
a woman will be excited to dance
with. Even if your partner is not the best
dancer, always be courteous. After the dance ends, escort your partner back
to where she was when you invited her, or to the edge of the dance floor.
Never just walk away or leave your partner in the middle of the dance floor.
Say "thank you" after a dance, even if it was less than enjoyable.
#3
Protect your partner. A leader's job is to lead the dance and
part of leading is preventing collisions or other situations which could
injure his partner or himself. Many salsa dancers ignore this role and
spin or lead their partners into others, step on other dancers, or otherwise
put themselves or others in a position of getting hurt. A leader
should stop dancing or do what it takes to make sure that the woman he is
dancing with does not get injured on the floor. No woman wants to
dance with a man who ignores safety and creates situations which cause her
injury or make her fear she will get hurt.
#4
Seek to regularly improve your dancing. Once you have mastered the
basics of leading and a few moves, work to increase your repertoire. It gets
boring to dance with someone whose moves are predictable and never change.
This applies to seasoned as well as beginning leaders. Some strong dancers
stop taking classes and once a woman has danced with them a few times, their
entire repertoire is known. By periodically learning a few new moves
or steps a leader will keep experienced dancers intrigued and
interested. I relish dancing with men who are never boring, because
they always have something fresh they're trying on the floor.
#5
Groom yourself. A man should be clean, neat and appropriately
dressed for a woman to want to dance with him. Body odor can be a real
problem for some men. Make sure to use deodorant and to have clean
hair, hands, fingernails and the like. Brush your teeth and use breath
freshener. Alcoholic or smokers' breath is a turn-off for women who
like to dance. Hair should be neatly combed and a man should shave or trim
his facial hair before dancing. After shave/cologne can be overpowering
in a club, so avoid it for dancing. A lot of greasy hair products can
also be off-putting. Clothes should be clean, fit well and be neatly
pressed. Shoes should be polished.
Natural fibers absorb moisture better than synthetics and feel better to the
touch. If you sweat a lot, take extra shirts and change into them as
needed. It's not fun to dance with someone who is soaking wet with sweat.
Flashy jewelry, tank tops, sneakers, t-shirts are not usually appropriate
dance apparel.
#6
Learn to talk and dance at the same time. What a concept! Dancing is a
social activity. If you are doing a dance that is slow enough to allow for
some conversation, by all means talk to your partner. A running conversation
may not be advisable while trying to dance with someone new, but introducing
yourself and exchanging a few words--a compliment about dance ability, a
question about where one likes to dance, etc., indicate that you have a
personality. And if you see this person at a future time, it is that much
easier to ask them to dance again. Women like good dancers but they like men
with some personality too. The "silent dancer" who never speaks a word an be
off-putting for many of us.
#7
Smile. Dancing should be enjoyable. Too many
dancers never smile or indicate they are enjoying themselves. A
partner can feel positive (and negative) energy from you! A bit of
smiling indicates you are having a good time. On the other hand, a fixed smile or staring at someone with a goofy
grin on your face can be a total turnoff. Smile when the feeling moves you,
when you catch your partner's eye, as it feels natural.
#8
Dance with different types of dancers. Some men are extremely selective
about whom they dance with. Others take pains to dance with many different
women, of all sizes, shapes, ages and abilities. When I see a good,
attractive dancer asking an older woman, or a less advanced dancer to dance I
think more highly of him than of one who will only dance with the hottest,
sexiest woman on the floor and who looks right through other women.
#9
Don't try to dance to a dance you don't know. A lot of club dancers
know no cha cha or rumba or ballroom dances. Some of them try
to fudge it by asking a woman to dance to a cha cha and then doing their own
thing!. Women want to dance with someone who knows the dance and can
lead it . It's very frustrating to dance with a man who has
no clue how to dance. Either get some lessons in social dancing or
sit out the dance, but don't put a woman through the frustration of dancing
with you when you don't know what to do.
#10
Do the asking. Some male dancers seem to be lazy or stuck up. They wait
for women to ask them to dance instead of asking the women. While there's
nothing wrong with taking a break while dancing and having a woman ask you to
dance occasionally, the general etiquette calls for men to ask women to
dance. Don't make it more complicated by playing "hard to get" and making
women guess if you want to dance or not. Either ask women to dance if you
wish to dance, or stay off and away from the dance floor so women can tell
you aren't interested in dancing.
